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Šerif hlásí policistům: "Vážení policisté, dostali jsme nový trezor, jehož kód jsou samé pětky, ale kvůli utajení vám neřeknu v jakém pořadí."
Policista říká jinému: "Hele, padesátikoruna! A papírová, to už se jen tak nevidí!"
"Ale ta je falešná," řekl druhý policista.
Tak první policista bankovku roztrhá a jdou dál.
Po chvíli se první policista ptá: "A jak jsi poznal, že je falešná?"
"Padesátikoruna nemá tři nuly!"
Policista staví řidiče a říká mu: "Pane řidiči, už posedmé vás stavím a říkám vám, že ztrácíte náklad." "A já vám už posedmé říkám," odpovídá řidič, "že je námraza a já sypu silnici."
Víte, proč policajt s sebou v autě vozí květináč?
Aby mohl sázet pokuty.
Jako dítě jsem se ztratil. Viděl jsem policistu a požádal ho, aby mi pomohl najít moji rodinu. Řekl jsem:
"Myslíte, že je někdy najdeme?"
On odpověděl:
"Nevím, chlapče. Je spousta míst, kde se mohou skrývat."
Měří to 155cm a nedá se to zabít, co je to?
Simir Gerchán
Víte, co je 10 policejních vozidel před zvláštní školou?
Třídní schůzky.
Autem jede Dežo, Čoro a Moro.
Kdo řídí?
Policie.
20 policajtů šlo na povinou lékařskou prohlídku. Vyjde sestřička a povídá:
"Je vás tu hodně, tak budete vstupovat po čtyřech!"
V tu chvíli se jeden svalí na všechny čtyři a volá:
"Já jdu první! Já jsem velitel!"
Jde blondýna na procházku se psem. Potká je policajt a oboří se na ni:
"Jak to,že ten pes nemá košík?"
"Nejdeme nakupovat," odpoví mu blondýna.
"Aha. Tak to je v pořádku."
Policajt hází do kopřiv papíry. Přijde k němu druhý a říká:
"Proč házíš ty papíry do kopřiv?"
"Ale, velitel mi nařídil, abych ty tajné dokumenty spálil."
Jdou takle dva policajti na obchůzku a ten první říká tomu druhému:
"Ten náš šéf je fakt blb, chtěl po mě, abych mu koupil bublinku do vodováhy, von si snad myslí, že nevim, že maj v neděli v železářství zavřeno..."
Samozřejmě tento článek nemá v úmyslu urazit, jsou to jen vtipy. Každopádně budu rád, když se v komentářích vyjádříte, jestli mám v tomhle pokračovat, nebo třeba jaké téma byste chtěli příště, klidně i nějaké připomínky. Užijte si zbytek dne
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.