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jakubho


Redactor

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Computer jokes (Fun)
Posted 9 years ago by
jakubho    
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ENG Note: The text is just a note for Czech, that don´t know english.
CZ Note: Text je jenom poznámka pro Čechy, kteří neumí anglicky


Je k dispozici nová aktualizace! Lunixák:Super, další nový obsah zdarma! Windowsák: Už nikdy! Jablíčkář: Ooh, jenom 99 dolarů!


Naprosto žádný virus. Věř mi... Jsem delfín


Můžeme si promluvit?
Ctrl+S (Uložení
Jasně, copak?
Počkej, řekl jsi něco?
Nic
Ctrl + Z (zpátky)
Vážně jsi chtěl smazat to co jsi řekl?
Alt + F4 (Zavřít okno)
To je přesně to, o čem jsem s tebou chtěla mluvit...
Ctrl+Alt+Del! (Otevřít Správce úloh)
Ctrl+Alt+Del!


LG logo. Je to vážně PacMan!




Vaše zkušební doba vypršela! Prosím zaregistrujte se pro používání tohoto softwaru.


Omylem jsem na tebe kliknul. Co chceš?
Udělej mě svým výchozím prohlížečem...prosím
Ne!


Jednou jsem byl venku. Grafika byla úžasná, ale hratelnost a příběh byli příšerné!


/Na vedení Samsungu/
Jste propuštěn!


/Hlavní rozdíl mezi PC a MAC/
PC: Řídící místnost Velkého urychlovače částic v CERNu. Největší a nejsložitější experiment v historii. Používaný nejlepšími vědci na světě.
MAC: Kavárna ve všední den. Používaný egocentrickými dětmi.


Používá Wi-fi.


Tati, tati, jsem na internetu!
Jaký prohlížeč?
Internet Explorer


//Nepřeložitelné


Co se doopravdy stalo se Stonehenge.


Jak googlí kluci?
Řešení přehřátí PC
Jak googlí holky?
Můj PC je přehřátý, jak ho zchladím? Počítač je můj život!


Jak jsi našel naši vesnici?
Google mapy


Řídím "čisté" auto!


Nechce se mi překládat celé


ENGLISH:Warning: You are monitored


Čaroděj nyní nainstaluje váš software


Buď v klidu a...


Kritický zásah!


Hey, chceš jít dneska na párty?
Jasně, jaká je adresa?


/Kluk a holka si píší:/
Holka: Prosím, zůstaneš dneska vzhůru o něco déle? Chtěla bych s tebou mluvit.
Kluk:Ne, promiň, musím jít.
Holka: Prosíííííííííííííííííím?
Kluk: Ne! Máma mi řekla, že když nepůjdu spát přijde a omlátí mi hlavu klávesnicnkglhsdgjdhgaudgjhiuhjhay !!


/Narozeniny předtím/
Podívejte na tu spoustu dárků!
/Narozeniny nyní/
Podívejte na tu spoustu upozornění!


Synku, pověz, proč vždycky když přijdu do tvého pokoje pozoruješ svou plochu?


//Nepřeložitelné


Nyní tě sledují...

So, ok, that´s all for now! I hope you enjoyed it:-) What is the funniest according to you?

Tak, to je prozatím vše! Doufám, že se vám to líbilo ;-) Co je podle vás nejzábavnější?


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E-Sim
Free strategy browser game.
This server is closed

 160+ Countries
 ~40k active users
 15 seconds to register

About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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